Day: Oct 3, 2019

The day before I was mentally ill I was Normal

The day before I was mentally ill I was normal

I was on a submarine and 24 years old. An Engineering Watch Supervisor running the nuclear power plant. From time to time we got WSRT or Com-con-ex messages to test the boat’s readiness to launch missiles. A common fleet wide event.

Normally they went like this, “Man battle stations missile for WSRT and the boat would do it’s thing. The general alarm would sound (bong, bong, bong…) 22 times and 15 minutes later the boat would have launched 16 nuclear tipped missiles if wasn’t a test.

This time, however, things were different. “Man battle stations missile for weapons system STRATEGIC LAUNCH”. Holly f%&k, we’re shooting.

I was asleep and bolted up. My battle station was Engineering Watch Supervisor  (EWS) and I ran, instead of my calm, uncaring, sounder to the engine room. On arriving, the members of engineering assaulted me with every fear and terror they felt. I just told them to go to station and do their job but kept 3 trusted individuals back to discuss our real actions. Understand that the submarine launch was retaliatory, we were city, people and society destroyers. 

 The conversation was about these things: our families are gone, the United States is devastated, do we want to kill 450 million people, we’re the only ones that can stop it, engineering can lock the water tight door, kill the power and shutdown the reactor.

As the debate went on I felt as if I had left myself and was watching the others and my body discussing what to do. It was surreal. At about that time, 6 minutes into the 15, the captain came on the 2MC and announced “This is the captain this is an exercise, THIS IS THE CAPTAIN THIS IS AN EXERCISE” with all force and fear I’ve ever heard. It was over.

Personality Dissociation Disorder. 

The day before I was mentally ill I was normal.

Reaveree Wheeler  ( rev-er-ee )What is the signature? What is the sign? Do you need a Dime of someone’s time?

To be continued in detail: